Ship it like FedEXXX (Arisia 2018)
The audience chose Old Man Luke and Hela from Thor
The lightning cracked down from the sky and set the Jedi tree aflame. All of its ancient texts and wisdom smoking before his unbelieving eyes. Old Man Luke looked back at Yoda in disbelief.
“…but master Yoda! The books– the ancient texts of the Jedi!”
“We are what they grow beyond,” the ancient Jedi master said with a wry smile.
Old Man Luke looked back to the tree, now an inferno, and let out a deep sigh, tears clawing at the edge of his eyes. The Jedi Order was now truly dead.
Another crack of lightning reached down from the sky and struck the tree again. Then another. And another. And another, after that. Luke shielded his eyes from the blasts. It felt like there must have been a hundred strikes when the lightning finally subsided.
When his bleached vision finally cleared, someone stood there amongst the fire and fury of the dead tree: a woman clad in dark, foreboding armor.
Old Man Luke turned to Yoda with a questioning look.
“Me that wasn’t,” the little Jedi said.
Old Man Luke turned back to the woman.
“Finally free,” the woman said, exasperated. She examined her form as if she had never seen it before. Old Man Luke found her intimidatingly beautiful, but he could feel it in her, the yearning darkness emanating.
The woman then looked up at Old Man Luke, her eyes softening. “Mmm…” She moaned.
He turned back to Yoda again now pleading for an answer.
“Go I gotta,” Yoda said, and faded.
“Looks like it’s just you and me, Skywalker,” the woman said.
“How do you–“
“Let’s just say your trip has already been booked,” the woman said, stepping out of the flames and towards Old Man Luke. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t have a few minutes of fun before you face that pitiful man on the other side of the galaxy.”
“You mean Ren-“
But Hela moved in close and put a finger to his lips. She whispered into his ear, “Shh… You’ve been cooped up here on this little rock all of these years, suckling the teets of those disgusting creatures...”
“I didn’t do it dir–“ Old Man Luke began to protest, but she stopped him, her voice breathy now.
“I’ve been cooped up, too, for soooo long…” The hairs on Luke’s neck rose and he felt a presence in him that he hadn’t felt in a long time.
“…I have something else you can suckle,” Hela said, her voice deadly quiet now. She effortlessly reached beneath his robes and found his stiffening cock and began rubbing.
“Hmm…” she moaned.
Old Man Luke mashed his lips against hers, and it was good. He hadn’t felt like this in decades. Not since Mara, or even that other time he kissed someone and had a weird guilty feeling that maybe he shouldn’t feel that way.
He reached for her breasts and found them bare. Old man Luke broke the kiss and looked down, her was armor gone. The goddess of death stood before him naked, and she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
“Come my Jedi,” she said, her voice yearning for his touch. She guided his head to her beautiful tits and he began suckling. Hela cried out in ecstasy.
“Oh! It’s been too long. Come on Master Luke, I know you can do better than that.”
Old Man Luke sucked harder, his teeth now gnashing at her nipple. He could feel the climax growing inside her, and he licked and sucked until her wails climbed deep into the sky.
That’s when the dark came… the milk of Hel gushing down his throat, the dark side splashing all over his face. He tried to pull away, but Hela held his face there.
“You will know the power of the dark side, Old Skywalker.”